Squared Love (2021) Movie Review

 A cliche, but there's more! Actually, not really.

Squared Love of Netflix, also knows as Milosc do kwadratu, was a Netflix suprise for sure. The movie is starring Adrianna Chlebicka and Mateusz Banasiuk. The movie follows a classic romantic feel good vibe with a standart, strict plot, totally open for cliches. (And you know how much we love those!) In the end, we kinda had to watch it just for that. Anyways, the movie follows Monika and Enzo on their journey called acting. Enzo is a womanizer, whatever that means. Monika is a hardworking, papa loving, trust giving angel/teacher. Monika is teaching a class as her day job, but that's not enough to pay her father's debt to some mafia thug, so she also becomes an actress. (Yep, just like that) She shoots photos for magazines, and acts in ads mostly. She's not happy being an actress though, because she thinks her father wouldn't be so happy about that, for.. some reason. So as expected from a romantic cliche, she has to lead a double life. Half teacher, half actress. And Enzo, he is acting, and makes quite a living from it, and he lives with his girlfriend of long years, who is also his employer, kind of. Enzo is the type of guy who thinks an open relationship means basically a fun weekend activity, so he cheats on his girlfriend periodically, he hits on every woman (yep, every woman) he sees, and he is proud of all that. You see, his character is exactly what the genre needs, a rich "ladies guy". Combined with our one and only, angelic female lead, the movie is good to go as a modern Cinderella-like, ready to get every award there is. Well, that might be... slightly wrong. Without further ado, let's get into it.

 

The movie is going for the easy road, and I get that. There's nothing wrong with shooting another Cinderella story as long as it's good in it's roots. The problem here, is that the movie is not good; not in the roots, not in the screen, not in the plot, not in the acting. (Sorry) As always, I kind of liked the poster, and again, I didn't watch it for the poster, stop asking that, but I couldn't talk a lot of it in any other way. It's an easily forgettable title, honestly one of the easiest for me. Still, there are a few keynotes for the things I liked about it, and it's better to list them all together, for clear reasons. 

Firstly, I genuinely liked that it was long, but not like a broken record long. The movie is over 2 hours 13 minutes, and most of the runtime is unique. The movie doesn't repeat itself over and over. (Well, for the most part that is) So I liked that, the pace of the ongoing story, not bad. I also liked that it was mostly a well lit title, that's always a plus for me. I liked the acting of the child actors, seriously not that bad. (Even though they meant nothing) I liked... well, that's mostly it, yeah.

The things I didn't like, let's see. First of all, the double life nonsense was so absurd. We all know it's a cliche yes, but in this example, it doesn't make a slight sense. Every single one of her students, every single one of their parents, the other teachers, her family, her friends, literally every human being ever got in touch with her could easily crack the case. The only difference between her two lives is the wig, a single wig. She puts her on, and magic happens, she's a person nobody knows. It didn't make any sense, and I couldn't stand it. ( I might've yelled at the screen "they look exactly the samee" but that's not relevant) Second miss for me was acting. Leave the meaningless, empty side roles aside, even the lead roles had no say in the story. The characters are just like brainwashed androids, they do their roles, the story goes on, their part comes, they do their roles. For example, Monika's life saving moments, which she saved a kid (I won't give any spoilers just in case) were literally identical. Her voice is identical in every emotion, sadness, anger, happiness, all the same. (Seriously, how can you not get it's the same person, really, how?) Character development only exists for Enzo, and even that is pretty messy. His character doesn't really develop to anything, it just gets more of a.. simple one. I bet you, if in the end Monika asked for an open relationship, there could be a sequel for this movie. Overall, the acting was just not that impressive. The plot was a hot mess, and a senseless piece. As you can see, I didn't use the word comedy in this review, because I don't think there was a funny part about it. The romantic side of the story was way too weak. You see, there was a lot not to like, with a hand half full of goods.

Squared Love, a.k.a Milosc do kwadratu, is a hit and miss. A try to make a cliche of a worn out genre, and a failure at getting even close to that. It's now on my "not gonna watch this, and not gonna let people do so" list. Squared Love can be streamed on Netflix, or not.

Cinemortals Rating : 3/10

Reviewed By : Batuhan